


Phantom Threesomes

by Yelir61



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Chatlogs, Multi, Third Semester (Persona 5)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yelir61/pseuds/Yelir61
Summary: Ryuji:He tried to shoot you in the head!!!Akira:Is it bad that I find that kind of hot?The Phantom Thieves discuss their fantasy threesomes.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110





	Phantom Threesomes

**Ryuji:** Okay, so doc’s supposed to have made, like, a perfect reality. Right?

**Yusuke:** I believe that was his intention, yes.

**Ryuji:** Then why is class still so effing boring?

**Ann:** He still wants people to learn things, you dope.

**Ann:** Though honestly, my class is pretty boring too. I think Akira’s actually asleep.

**Ryuji:** Holy shit. Really?

**Ann:** I can’t just turn around and look, but I think so. Morgana’s snoring too.

**Ryuji:** Man. Now I feel kinda guilty. That dude works way too hard.

**Futaba:** That’s not why he’s tired!

**Futaba:** He was up at 2 last night, arguing with me about whether or not a poptart was a sandwich.

**Ryuji:** What? Of course it’s not a sandwich.

**Futaba:** Actually....

**Ann:** God, don’t have this stupid argument again!

**Ann:** Let’s play a game instead. Who's actually here?

**Futaba:** Me!

**Ryuji:** I’m here.

**Yusuke:** I am present as well.

**Ann:** Okay. Your fantasy threesome within the Phantom Thieves.

**Ryuji:** What!?

**Yusuke:** That is rather sudden.

**Ann:** It’s just for fun! You pick the two you would want to have the threesome with, and explain why.

**Ann:** I’ll go first.

**Ann:** I’d pick…

**Ann:** Akira and Ryuji.

**Ryuji:** Nice!

**Futaba:** Why Ryuji? Couldn't you do better?

**Ryuji:** Rude.

**Ann:** I mean, he is an athlete. He would probably have a lot of endurance.

**Ann:** And Akira is pretty fit, too.

**Ann:** Plus, we’re the original Phantom Thieves! It makes sense, right?

**Yusuke:** Wasn’t Morgana one of the original Phantom Thieves?

**Ann:** I’m not sleeping with a cat!

**Futaba:** What about when he was human?

**Ann:** No!!!

**Ann:** Yusuke. Who would you pick? 

**Yusuke:** An interesting question. Let me think for a moment.

**Yusuke:** I believe I would choose Akira and Futaba.

**Futaba:** Of course you would, you perv.

**Ryuji:** What, really!?

**Yusuke:** Is my choice so surprising? Akira is wonderful to watch. His movements are so fluid, so graceful. I imagine he would be an excellent partner.

**Ryuji:** Yeah, I get that pick. I guess I just thought you’d pick Ann for your other partner.

**Yusuke:** How many times must I repeat myself? I have no interest in Ann as a member of the opposite sex. She is a marvelous model, but that is the extent of my fascination.

**Ann:** Still not quite sure how to take that…

**Futaba:** So why me?

**Yusuke:** You have a good eye for detail, you are meticulous about your work, and you are very industrious. These would seem to be good qualities to have in a sexual partner. Particularly one that would be engaging in something as complex as a threesome.

**Yusuke:** Also, you are very beautiful.

**Futaba:** dskhdshdshj

**Futaba:** Inari!

**Futaba:** You can’t just say stuff like that!

**Ryuji:** Someone’s feeling flustered…

**Futaba:** Can it, Skull! Who are your picks?

**Ryuji:** Me? Shit.

**Ryuji:** ...Makoto and Ann.

**Ann:** Aww.

**Ryuji:** Ah, shuddup.

**Futaba:** Wow. You really want girls to step on you.

**Ryuji:** Look, don’t judge me! What about you?

**Futaba:** Mine’s easy. Me/The Feathermen!

**Ann:** That’s not how it works! It’s gotta be two people.

**Ann:** Two _real_ people. That you actually know. That are in the Phantom Thieves.

**Futaba:** Fiiiiiiiine.

**Futaba:** .....

**Futaba:** Inari and Akira.

**Ann:** Oh, good picks!

**Ryuji:** Hate to admit it, but yeah. They’re pretty good-looking guys.

**Futaba:** I mean, it’s not like I actually think it’ll happen! It’d be way too weird afterwards.

**Yusuke:** Are you certain? We could always ask Akira what his thoughts on the matter are.

**Futaba:** Absolutely not! In fact, I’m deleting this whole conversation before he can read it.

**Akira:** Too late.

**Ryuji:** Shit!

**Akira:** Honestly, if you guys wanted to keep this a secret, you probably should have started a new chat.

**Ann:** Akira, I’m so, so sorry!

**Akira:** I’m not mad. Actually, I’m pretty flattered.

**Futaba:** You would be, you smug jerk.

**Akira:** Guilty.

**Yusuke:** What about you, Akira? Who would your partners for a threesome be?

**Akira:** Hmm.

**Akira:** I’d say...

**Akira:** Makoto and Akechi.

**Ryuji:** What!? Akechi?

**Akira:** What can I say? I’ve got a thing for intelligent people who take themselves too seriously.

**Akira:** They’re really fun to tease.

**Ryuji:** He tried to shoot you in the head!!!

**Akira:** Is it bad that I find that kind of hot?

**Futaba:** Yes.

**Ann:** Obviously, yeah!

**Ryuji:** What the eff?!

**Yusuke:** I’m afraid so.

**Akira:** Ah, well. What are you gonna do?

**Ryuji:** Maybe not fantasize about having sex with a dude who tried to kill you!?

**Ann:** I mean, I agree that he’s good-looking, but his personality…

**Akira:** He’s incredibly passionate, underneath that T.V.-friendly exterior.

**Ryuji:** Oh yeah, sure. I could really sense his ‘passion’ when he lunged at us screaming “Die!”

* * *

**Haru:** What are you all discussing?

**Haru:** Oh, I see. How funny!

**Haru:** May I play as well?

**Ann:** Of course! Who would you pick?

**Haru:** I think I would choose Makoto and Akira.

**Futaba:** Good picks!

**Yusuke:** Seconded. An excellent pair!

**Ann:** I don’t disagree, but why those two?

**Haru:** Akira seems like he would be a very good partner. He would probably tease me a lot, but he would also be very kind. I would feel safe to relax with him.

**Akira:** Thanks, Haru.

**Futaba:** And Makoto?

**Haru:** She looks really good in that biker outfit.

**Ryuji:** Right!?

* * *

**Makoto:** Why do I have so many notifications?

**Makoto:** Were you all texting during class? What was so important?

**Makoto:** Wh

**Makoto:** What is all this!?

**Akira:** Hey, Makoto.

**Makoto:** Akira! Why were you all talking about us having threesomes!?

**Akira:** It’s just a game Ann started.

**Makoto:** It’s absurd!

**Akira:** I mean, yeah. It’s just for fun. We’re not planning some big orgy behind your back.

**Akira:** At least, I’m not. Don't know what Haru’s up to.

**Sumire:** Hello, everyone!

**Sumire:** Oh! Okumura-senpai is planning an orgy?

**Makoto:** No! No one is having an orgy!

**Sumire:** Oh, that’s too bad.

**Makoto:** What?!

**Sumire:** Well, I’ve never been to one before! I thought it sounded like fun.

**Sumire:** Don’t you think you would enjoy it, Niijima-senpai?

**Makoto:** …

**Akira:** …

**Akira:** Sumire...do you...know what an orgy is?

**Sumire:** It’s a big party, right?

**Makoto:** Not...quite.

**Akira:** Google it.

**Makoto:** Do not google it!

**Sumire:** Oh my gosh! I

**Sumire:** No!

**Sumire:** I am so sorry! I didn’t mean that you

**Sumire:** I didn’t know it was a sex thing!

**Makoto:** It’s alright, Sumire. We know you didn’t know.

**Akira:** So. Who would you two pick for your threesome?

**Sumire:** Threesome?!

**Akira:** That was what we were talking about, originally. Who in the Phantom Thieves would you have a threesome with?

**Makoto:** It’s a ridiculous question!

**Akira:** Maybe. Sumire?

**Sumire:** Uhhh.

**Sumire:** …

**Sumire:** You and Akechi-san.

**Sumire:** No, wait!

**Sumire:** Please, forget I wrote that, I

**Sumire:** I have to go!

**Makoto:** Sumire!

**Akira:** Honestly, this game is pretty good for my ego.

**Makoto:** Your ego does not need inflating.

**Akira:** Then cut me down to size. Who would you pick, Makoto?

**Makoto:** …

**Akira:** …

**Makoto:** You and Ryuji.

**Akira:** :)

**Makoto:** Stop that.

* * *

**Goro:** What

**Goro:** Is

**Goro:** This

**Ryuji:** Oh shit. I kinda forget you were in this chat.

**Goro:** What kind of juvenile, hormonal rot have you all been spewing?!

**Akira:** Hey babe.

**Goro:** Akira. Explain to me why I shouldn’t kill you.

**Goro:** I’m having a difficult time remembering why I let you continue to draw breath.

**Akira:** Hey, if you want to wrap those wonderful gloves around my throat, I won’t stop you.

**Akira:** That sounds pretty nice

**Goro:** I will eviscerate you!!!

**Akira:** Oh, darling. Don’t tease!

**Ryuji:** Dude.

**Futaba:** Flirt in private, you freaks!

**Goro:** I am not flirting!

**Akira:** Anyways. Who would you pick for your threesome?

**Goro:** No one, you utter imbecile! I despise you all!

**Akira:** Even Sumire?

**Goro:** …

**Goro:** Yoshizawa-san is slightly more tolerable than the rest of you.

**Goro:** In the sense that I could endure her presence for more then an hour without wanting to put a bullet through her head. Unlike the rest of you.

**Futaba:** Okay, so Sumire/Goro/Akira. Got it.

**Goro:** I do not want to fuck Akira!

**Futaba:** Oh please. You’re not fooling anybody!

**Goro:** I should have challenged Maruki alone.


End file.
